Various Artists - Rock Against Bush Vol. 2 (2004)

THE DIARY OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

Thanks to Uncle Dick, I get to live in this neat old house for another four years. Dick said something about "the fix" being in play in Ohio this year, which fooled everybody 'cause I thought that Jeb was fixing things in Florida again. Anyway, "Rummy" says that it's about time that I had my own "enemies" list like that nice Dick Nixon fella had. One of those two girls that live here...what are their names, anyway...Mopsy and Flopsy? Hee, hee, hee...why couldn't we had a boy...I could have teached him about baseball and called him "Ace." Where was I…oh yeah, one of those girls gave me a CD for my birthday, something about Rock Against Bush Vol. 2 with a bunch of punk rock bands. Well, let's give 'er a spin on the old Victrola and see what happens!

Okay, the enemies list starts here...Green Day, check. Colin told me that "American Idiot" coulda been about me and I guess that "Favorite Son" could be me, too, so Billy Joe and them guys are on my list. Bad Religion...oh hell yeah, I've had my eyes on those Greg and Brett fellas for some time now. Operation Ivy...aren't they just Rancid without that Lars fella's badass guitar licks? Oh, Rancid is here, too, so they all go on the list! Dropkick Murphys…Irish kids from Boston, they won the World Series, but they beat the Rangers, so they go down. Flogging Molly...sounds like something we used to do back at Yale after one too many flaming rum punches! This Molly fella sounds Irish, too...note to self, ask Rummy about bombing Ireland back to the Stone Age. Never liked that snotty Colin Farrell fella, anyway....

Who else we got on this CD? No, not the Foo Fighters...dang, I like that Foo fella. Maybe I'll just have the IRS audit his taxes 'cause he'll probably have a lot of money after that Nirvana box set hits the street. Got to pay for the war some way...it's sure not coming out of my pockets! Sugarcult, sounds like a support group for diabetics. Yellowcard...isn't that what the Meskins need to work in the US? Lagwagon, Jawbreaker, Bouncing Souls…on the list. No Doubt? No doubt that Gwen Stefani is some kind of fox. Maybe I'll invite her to the White House and show her my "oval office!" Hee, hee, hee....

Hell, I'll just throw everybody here on this CD on the list and turn it over to "Homeland Security." The Dwarves, Sick Of It All, Hot Water Music, Thought Riot...there's twenty-eight songs by twenty-eight bands it says here, with twenty rare and unreleased songs. Multiply that by four members in a band and...dang, I'm no good at cipherin'. I'll get Condi to figure it out if she's through being romanced by that Steve Earle fella. Hey, he's not on this CD but he goes to the top of the list!

Who else...hey, there's a DVD here, too, with music videos from Bad Religion, that Molly fella, NoFX and some more punkers. Hey, NoFX – that's that funny "Fat Mike" fella! I like him, especially that record about doin' sheep or whatever it was. Maybe I'll "accidentally" leave them off the list. What's that guitar fella's name? Oh yeah, "El Hefe." I like that. Maybe I'll start calling myself "El Presidente," grow a beard like that Fidel fella. Hey, there's comedy videos here, there's that Ferrell guy that played me on Saturday Night Live. Now where'd I put that bag of pretzels.... (Fat Wreck Chords)

(Click on the CD cover to buy Rock Against Bush Vol. 2 from Amazon.com)